


Alternate Universe- Harry's Death/2010

by NiamJenn1994



Series: Put Your Lips Close to Mine as Long as They Don't Touch [2]
Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 02:07:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2370482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiamJenn1994/pseuds/NiamJenn1994
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate universe of Ghost of You. What would have happened if Harry had really died when Logan was born.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alternate Universe- Harry's Death/2010

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LouisGirl93](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouisGirl93/gifts).



> So I don't know where this came from but its an alternate version of Ghost of You. Its what I think what would have happened if Harry had really killed himself. Of course this never happened but I have no inspiration for my other stories at the moment. This has a MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH SO PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T TAKE HARRY BEING DEAD IN THIS UNIVERSE. If you do read then hope you like it. Lol
> 
> Enjoy! :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFOBROBax90

After Louis was done feeding his tiny daughter of only a week old and she was sleeping soundly in her arms, he stayed sitting on his spot on the couch watching her sleep. He smiled as he gently took her tiny hand in his and lifted her up as he leaned his head to kiss the tiny knuckles and his heart filled with love and adoration directed at her. The tiny creature that he had once hated but wasn't and had never been at fault of what had happened to him was now his world and he would do anything to keep her safe and happy. He slowly got up to put her in her bassinet when he heard the doorbell and knowing it was his mother since she had called to let him know she would be there he stood up and without looking through the peep hole he opened the door. His eyes widened in fear and he tightened his grip on his baby when he came face to face with not only her mother but also with Anne and Gemma.

"What are they doing here? Mum, I begged you not to tell them. Is Harry..?" Louis began panicking unable to miss the way Gemma's eyes filled with tears at the mention of his name.

"He's not here...he- he doesn't know. Lou...please, we just want to talk." Anne begged and Louis couldn't say no to her when tears were already rolling down her face and all she and Gemma had eyes for were his daughter.

He moved aside and let them in noticing that Gemma was holding two boxes to which he recognized one of them as his own and as soon as they were inside he sat down on his old spot gesturing for them to take a seat with her mother sitting next to him.

"What's her name?" Anne asked wiping away her tears with a tissue.

"Why are you here? None of you were supposed to find out about her, she's mine and I swear if you tell that bastard I'll..." Louis glared at them getting interrupted by Jay.

"Louis please, just listen to them." She begged.

"Don't worry, he'll never find out...there's no way he will ever find out." Gemma intervened.

"Then why are you here?" Louis asked.

Anne sighed then looked down at her feet before looking at Louis again and when she did, her eyes were filled with tears as she tried to keep her sobs in, "C- can I please hold her? Just one time, I promise you this will be the last time you will ever hear from us but please."

"Louis please...we just want to see her. Its all we have left." Gemma begged.

Louis felt a painful lump in his throat at Gemma's last words and found himself nodding for some unknown reason then slowly got up at the same time Anne and Gemma did. His daughter let out a tiny whimper as she was passed to Anne's arms but quickly settled down, he watched as Anne finally burst out crying trying to keep her heartbreaking sobs in as she held her close to her chest then looked down at her kissing her tiny forehead. He watched Gemma setting the boxes down then rested her head against Anne's shoulders as she too cried while watching his daughter then leaned down to kiss the top of her head and whisper a few words Louis couldn't hear.

"Her name's Logan...Logan Hunter." Louis found himself saying then wanted to hug them when Anne only cried louder and Gemma excused herself before she grabbed her bag and left his flat with a hand over her mouth to keep her sobs in.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." Anne sobbed while Louis only grew more nervous the more she cried and his mother wouldn't do anything other than look at her with sorry and teary eyes.

"What's going on?" Louis asked afraid to know but he needed to know.

"Take care of her...please take care of her. And know that we love her, we all do and I wish we could watch her grow but I can't...she looks so much like hi- him." Anne kissed her forehead lingering a few seconds then looked at her before she began talking. "We love you, we really do...and you're gonna be better off here and away from us. Oh god, I love you so much. He would've loved you too."

And with that she gave her back to him, grabbed her bag and left his flat leaving the two boxes behind as well as a very confused Louis who looked back at his mother waiting for an explanation. She sighed and got up to take the baby putting her in her swing then motioned for Louis to take seat while she grabbed the boxes taking a seat in front of him.

She took a deep breath and looked at Louis, "Th- There's something I need to tell you."

"I- I'm scared, mom I'm scared. What happened? Why were they here?" Louis asked question after question.

"I- I know you don't want to hear anything about him, much less talk about him but- but he left this for you." Jay got up and gently set the boxes down on his lap as if he could break at any moment.

"This is my box. He had it?" Louis started getting angry but when his mother nodded and he saw tears rolling down her face, all that anger completely disappeared. "What do you mean he left this for me?"

"I need you to please stay calm and listen to me." Jay continued.

"Mum..."

"They found them on top of his desk the night Logan was born, one of them is yours and the other is his." Jay explained.

Louis quickly opened his box to find the same old things; all his memories with Harry when they were happy. He looked back at Jay then back down at the box before he put it aside and with shaky hands he slowly opened the one that belonged to him. His eyes filled with tears when the first thing he saw was a picture of the both of them posing next to each other with arms around each other and big happy smiles on their faces. He went through the box letting out a sob when he realized that all the memories he thought Harry had thrown away were there in their own box just like his own. He picked up the blue bracelet then threw it back in the box picking the lid up to close it and close that chapter of his life when he noticed an envelope addressed to him taped to the back of it.

"What is this!? Doesn't he have enough with what he did to me?" Louis snapped as he furiously wiped away his tears.

"Louis, please listen to me." Jay begged.

"No, if you're gonna keep talking about that scum then leave. I don't need to hear it, he's dead to me." Louis glared.

"Louis...Harry's, he's gone. They- he passed away a week ago and left this for you." Jay spoke up watching Louis freeze on his spot.

"Wh- What?" Louis whimpered feeling numb and cold all over.

"They found him in his bedroom a week ago, he...he killed himself."

"No, you're lying. Why do you want to hurt me too, he's not dead...h- he's in uni and he's alive." Louis took a step back feeling his face flooding with tears at the same time his vision went blurry.

"Baby, I wish I was lying but..."

"No, he's alive." Louis insisted then ripped open the envelope to read the letter and prove his mother wrong while Logan slept without a care in the world.

 

_Lou,_

_I lost the right to call you that a long time ago the moment I hurt you for the first time and I'm so sorry. I know that a simple sorry isn't enough after what I did to you but at this point there's nothing else left to do, I can't fix things when no matter how hard I try to find you you're never there, you don't want to be found and I'm sorry for giving up on you again. I can't do it anymore Lou, I can't continue living and pretending that nothing's wrong and I don't miss you when I'm slowly dying on the inside little by little each day that goes by and you're not here with me. I just miss you so much Lou, I just want you here with me, just the two of us. By the time you're reading this I won't be there anymore, I won't hurt you anymore so please don't stop reading. Please don't take away my last and only chance I have to explain why._

_I wish I could go back in time and change the way I handled things and the horrible way I treated you just like I was treated, I wish I could take that pain away but I can't. I used to be a kid who didn't care what others thought about me and I thought Adam would accept me for who I was but I was wrong. I've known I like boys since the year before you came out but things for me didn't worked out as well as they did for you. I've been treated so wrong and like I was nothing and no one important by my own father and all I got were beatings, torture, and cruel words instead of the hug and loving words of acceptance I had hoped for. I never got the chance to be free like you and instead spent my last years caged like a bird._

_How could I be free when it was beaten into me that loving your best friend, a guy, was wrong, disgusting and a sin. How could I be free and be the real me, the Harry you got to know when the person who used to be my hero and who I thought was supposed to protect me, accept and love me no matter what, hurt me so many times until I was nothing but an empty shell forced to hide who I really was. He threatened you and my family. He already hurt Gemma and I couldn't let him hurt you or worse, kill you all because of a disgusting silly crush like he called it. I told myself it was for the best but in the end it was me who ended up hurting you and did to you something so disgusting I still had nightmares every time I closed my eyes. They never stop haunting me._

_I didn't meant to fall in love with you the way I did but it happened, I wish I didn't had to tell you I've been in love with you for the past three years and never got the chance to say it out loud nor show it to you the way I would've liked. I fell in love with your smile and the way your eyes shined every time you talked about something you were passionate about, the way you would pout to get your way whenever you wanted something. I fell in love with everything that is you and you, everything you loved I loved. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you from myself and I know it's too late now to save you and save myself, too late to save your love. I'm a pathetic coward for taking the easy way out but I can't do it anymore and I know you're not any better and dealing with so much more but I hate myself like I know you hate me and I'm sorry._

_I never meant all those things I said to you, you are and will always be my everything so please believe me when I say you're beautiful in every way, shape and form. You have no idea how easy it was for me to fall in love with you and before I knew it I was in way too deep and I never wanted to get out ever again but things never worked out the way I wanted them to. I'm sorry things had to end the way they did but when I lost you I lost myself and the will to keep going, I didn't want to live anymore and I'm the only one to blame for everything._

_I guess this is goodbye and no matter where I go I will always love you angel, always. Go on and be happy because you deserve it, you deserve everything good in life unlike me. I wanted to be with you forever. I wanted to hold your hand, call you mine and kiss you goodnight. I wanted to marry you and have a few kids and a dog, have a family with you and make you happy. Maybe someday you'll have just that Lou, you'll have your own kids with the one you love and I'll be just a vague memory in the back of your mind and you'll be so happy. That's when I'll truly find peace or solace like I used to say. Maybe we were never meant to be but I'll leave believing that we were, that we could have been so happy together if I had just fought hard enough for us. I'll go leaving nothing behind of me but this note and our memories, I'm sorry all I left behind was pain and I hope one day you can forgive me. I'll never stop loving you no matter where I go, I wish I could have been by your side for the rest of our lives. I love you Louis, always and forever._

_Harry_

_P. S. Last night I saw a shooting star and it reminded me of you. It was beautiful but I couldn't compare, nothing is more beautiful to me than you._

 

"No...you're not dead, you're not dead. Please, you're not dead." Louis let himself fall down on the floor were his mother quickly wrapped her arms around him.

"Lou..." Jay cried, her heart aching at seeing her only son crying and calling for him the way he was doing.

He let him go when he pushed her away then crawled to where his baby was sleeping and gently picked her up, he looked at her then cried louder. That's how Niall, Zayn and Eleanor found them and after Jay explained all they wanted was to comfort him.

"I want to see it." Louis mumbled an hour later.

He was still sitting on the floor with Logan in his arms while the rest were either standing or sitting on the floor a few feet away from him.

"Love, I don't think..." Jay started.

"How?" Was all Louis said.

"What?" Jay gave him a confused look.

"How did he do it? How did he died? Who found him?" Louis once again asked feeling nothing but pain in his heart yet he felt numb all at the same time.

"Please don't ask me that." Jay begged.

"How. Did. He. Died." Louis looked at her with cold icy eyes.

"Louis." Zayn pleaded with him.

"How did he offed himself!" Louis snapped making the others wince at the term.

"H- He overdosed himself with sleeping pills and...alcohol poisoning. Liam found him." Jay muttered and that's all it took for Louis to start crying again.

A few days later Louis was back in Doncaster getting there just in time to see the Styles carrying boxes out of their home. He managed to have a long talk with them telling them that even though things had happened the way they did he still wanted them in Logan's life but only if they wanted. Anne had burst out crying and that day they became a part of her life watching their baby girl grow up. It wasn't until Gemma confessed what their biological father had done to them when Harry came out to him a year before Louis did that Louis finally understood some of his actions.

That afternoon he made his way through the cemetery with Logan in his arms as he searched for the right tombstone feeling his eyes feeling with tears when he found it. He crouched down next to it and stared at the cold white marble trying to find the right words to say.

"I should hate you...but that's something I have never been able to do. I should be happy you're dead but the only thing I feel is anger. I- I never planned on telling you but what difference does it make now, huh? You're dead and you'll never get to watch her grow, you'll never get to see your daughter taking her first steps or hearing her first word much less call you daddy. You really fucked up and at first I couldn't understand why you acted the way you did and some of it I'll never will. I don't know if I'll ever forgive you but I do love you, I shouldn't but I do and she will love you too. I'll make sure of that."

He put a white rose next to his name then got up kissing her daughter's forehead before he walked away back to her mother's house. As the years passed by Logan grew up into a cheerful and compassionate four year old adoring her daddy Louis and her daddy curly even though he only knew him from the pictures and stories that Louis would tell her about him.

She grew up surrounded by a loving family and the day she turned six was when Louis finally forgave Harry, it will take time to find the will to find someone else even though he wasn't fully convinced about it and was somehow convinced he never will. But one thing he knew was that he would always love Harry, he would always love his best friend.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? :)


End file.
